Big Brother Escapee Numbers Not Known

The head of Big Brother, Winston Smith, admits he does not know how many inmates are on the run. The admission came as punk singer Donny Tourette escaped from the Tower of London.

The head of the UK Prison Service, Phil Wheatley, said:

"This is an absolute disgrace, if we ran the Prison Service like that I'd be out of a job."

The head of the Conservative party, David Cameron, said:

"This surely calls into question the decision to appoint the female beefeaters at the Tower of London. It's political correctness gone mad."