Monday, 25 June 2007

Morality for Prime Ministers

As Mma Cameron drove the little white van around the edges of St James's Park, the hippos looked almost golden in the bright, early morning sunshine with their roaring grunts and snorts filling the London air.

"Who can deny that global warming is almost certainly happening?" mused Mma Cameron.

Looking ahead to the acacia tree outside the offices of the No. 1 Conservative Ladies’ Election Agency, Mma Cameron could see huge, dark clouds dominating the sky behind; soon the erratic downpours of the rainy season would be upon them, testing the flood defences that had been built in a different era for a different climate.

Mma Cameron parked under the acacia tree and quickly proceeded in through the door to the office before the rain began to fall. Mma Osbourne, who had been reading a newspaper, looked up and said: “Good morning, Mma, I'm glad to see you made it here before the rain."

The rain began to pound on the corrugated iron roof and pour down on to the parched earth outside. Mma Cameron smiled and said, "I think we should have a cup of Bush tea.”

Mma Osbourne put the kettle on and then pointed to the newspaper on the desk, "Have you seen the news about Mr J. G. Brown?"

Mma Cameron frowned, "Yes, I think it is a very odd thing that Mr A. C. L. Blair should step down and that Mr J. G. Brown become Prime Minister without there being an election. This would not happen if they were adhering to the old Conservative values."

Mma Osborne agreed, "Oh yes, a Conservative leader would first be damaged by a stalking horse and then ousted by a cabal of cabinet colleagues."

"Yes, that's the old, Tory morality," concurred Mma Cameron.

"...and then the Conservative MPs would obediently elect the outgoing Prime Minister's chosen successor," continued Mma Osbourne.

"Who would naturally be a man of relatively little experience in Government," added Mma Cameron, "like that nice Mr J. Major."

"Or yourself," noted Mma Osbourne.

Mma Cameron nodded and then continued, "Quite why anyone would think that it is a good thing to have an orderly transition of the role of Prime Minister from a long-serving leader to a hugely, experienced colleague, I don't know!"

"Indeed," said Mma Osbourne, "and where's the attendant chaos and uncertainty amid rioting and the onset of recession?"

They both laughed out loud. Mma Cameron glanced over to Mma Osborne, “Should we have another cup of Bush tea?”

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