Tuesday, 13 March 2007

Climate Change

In today's news, the UK Government has announced to cut carbon emissions by 60% by 2050 and between 26% and 32% by 2020.

The Conservative opposition environment spokesman roundly condemned the proposals:
"This doesn't go anywhere near the Tory Party's plan to cut carbon emissions by between 59% and 61% by 2050 and between 25% and 33% by 2020."

The Liberal Democrat spokesman said:
"Hey, isn't that our policy!"

A spokesperson for the Green Party said:
"Remember us?"

Other proposals include:
- Reducing emissions from domestic buildings by recategorising them as residential buildings.
- Replacing carbon in pencils with lead.
- Investment in low-carbon heating technologies such as woolly jumpers, furry slippers and thermal underwear.
- Switching from high-emission planes to low-emission gliders.
- Carbon emission caps: headgear emblazoned with the words 'I'm cutting emissions!'
- Making homes greener by combining blue paint with yellow.

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