Friday, 30 March 2007

The No. 1 Conservative Ladies' Election Agency

[You will not get this unless you have read the No.1 Ladies' Detective Agency by Alexander McCall Smith]

Mma Cameron, owner of the No. 1 Conservative Ladies’ Election Agency, pushed open the office window to let some air into the sweltering room. Staring out at the crocodiles on the riverside and the antelope on the sun-drenched landscape that could have been Botswana but was in fact Victoria Street, London, Mma Cameron wondered whether Mr A. A. Gore was right about this Global Warming thing.

Mma Cameron observed, “It is one of the peculiarities of our work that there are often periods where we have very little to do while we wait for our next case.”

Mma Osborne concurred, “But we do need these times of respite, I don’t think we could sustain the intellectual demands of solving complicated issues all the time.”

“Indeed,” agreed Mma Cameron, “it does not pay to always be busying oneself – not like that Mr J. G. Brown down at Downing Street Speedy Motors, he’s always tinkering with something.”

“…and yet his accounts are in such a state,” said Mma Osborne, “I’m sure he doesn’t know what he is doing.”

Mma Cameron nodded: Mma Osborne had a certificate from the Magdalen Secretarial College, Oxford, and so clearly knew about these things.

Mma Cameron glanced over to Mma Osborne, “I think it is time we had a cup of Bush tea.”

“Or should we try some of that Fair Trade coffee that Mr A. A. Gore gave us when he visited?” asked Mma Osborne.

“No, whilst it is important to be seen to be open to new ideas such as Mr A. A. Gore’s, I think I still prefer the tea that Mr G. W. Bush gave us.”

After they had enjoyed a nice cup of bush tea and their spirits were suitably raised, they tidied up the office and completed some outstanding filing. That done, they settled back into their seats.

Mma Osborne was reading the newspaper, “I see that the Government are failing to meet their targets for lifting children out of poverty.”

Mma Cameron shook her head at the folly of it all, “what they need is to apply some traditional Tory values.”

“Oh, yes,” agreed Mma Osborne, “like self-reliance.”

“…and respect for others,” continued Mma Cameron.

“…and being born with a silver spoon in one’s mouth,” asserted Mma Osborne.

“Yes, that would soon sort out child poverty,” declared Mma Cameron.

They both laughed out loud. Mma Cameron glanced over to Mma Osborne, “Should we have another cup of Bush tea?”

1 comment:

That's so pants said...

Case well solved Elephant